


Valentine's Day

by fukmylyf (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, HOW DO YOU FISHPUN EVEN, Implied Sexual Content, and kankri and feferi are HARD, cuz they all have the same kind of bodies, excuse the slight oocness, happy valentine's day, headcanon: trolls all have rumblespheres, headcanon: trolls are all genderfluid, i cant write all of it by myself, i have never written cronus b4, just crack, karkat in a sexy outfit, mostly bc they dont give a shit, really really hard, shoot me, thats literally it, there needs to be more jadefefkat, wrote this in half an hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3338366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fukmylyf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has to deliver flowers on Valentine's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day

“Come _on,_ Karkat, you look fine!” 

You step out of your room, tugging at the hem of your skirt uncomfortably. 

“Do I have to wear this? I feel stupid,” you mutter, glaring down at your thigh-high clad legs.

“Yes you do! It’s Valentines and you _promised_ Feferi and Kanaya you’d dress up as Cupid for them!”

You growl under your breath, glaring at Jade.

“That was before I realized dressing as _Cupid_ meant wearing clothes you might see on a _slut,”_ you hiss, tugging your outfit this way and that just to find out that it perfectly fits your (unfortunately) curvy figure, making your rumblespheres look even bigger than the C cup they’re already sporting. 

The things you do for your friends.

“Isn’t there a less… tight outfit I could wear?” you ask, giving Jade your best puppy eyes. She shakes her head and grins at you. 

“Come on, you have roses to deliver!” she says cheerily. You pout but let yourself be dragged along.

Kanaya looks very happy with your outfit ‘choice,’ complementing Jade’s ability to get you into it. Feferi seems to be checking you out, eyes landing on your barely covered ass. You’re glad Jade let you wear panties instead of the thongs she had bought. Mother of fuck, you wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the eyes ever again if she made you wear thongs.

Although you will admit, they made you look like a sex goddess.

“Where did you find this?” Kanaya asks, coming over to examine your outfit. She steps behind you, hands tracing the curve of your wings, ruffling the feathers slightly. She moves her hands down to where the wings end just above you ass, in line with your short, short pink skirt. 

“This store,” Jade says, giggling. She winks at Feferi, who grins back at her.

“I shore wouldn’t mind seaing you in an outfish like this!” she remarks, giving Jade a predatory look.

“Hey, that’s my moirail-matesprit you’re talking to,” you retort, glaring. Feferi winks at you.

“Who said you couldn’t join in, Krabcakes?”

Your face heats up about a hundred degrees and Kanaya chuckles. 

“Girls, please, leave the poor troll alone. I’m sure he’s hot and bothered enough as it is,” she says, voice calm and soothing. Your face cools down a little.

“Is it still he? I mean, he’s dressed like a she,” Jade says, tapping her plush bottom lip with a gnawed finger. 

“Trolls don’t put that kind of emphasis on gender, Harley. I don’t care what the fuck you refer to me as,” you growl, crossing your arms over your bare midsection.

This outfit is stupidly revealing.

The short, tight, baby pink tube-top shirt with a heart cut out of the middle (as if the size of your bust needed to be emphasized anymore), hemmed in red. The short, revealing baby pink skirt, once again hemmed in red. And then your white cupid wings, attached to the shirt and flaring out behind you. To top it all off, Jade bought you red thigh-highs and baby pink combat boots (where the fuck did she even find these). 

Kanaya sits you down so she can try at hair and make-up with you. Good thing you came an hour early (even though you kinda wish you didn’t have to leave at all). 

“Do you think we should draw a small heart on one of his cheeks, or should we just stick with bringing out his lips and eyes?” Kanaya asks, squatting in front of you in the most elegant way possible. Only Kanaya can squat elegantly.

“Maybe just stick with regular make-up,” Jade says. Feferi smiles and nods, sitting up on the table with the basket of roses you’ll have to carry around. She even put all the names on a cute little scroll with a heart-shaped sticker to keep it shut.

Kanaya does your make-up quickly. Foundation. Blusher. Lipstick. Lipgloss. Eyeliner. Eyeshadow, and then you’re up like a rocket.

You are going to get this over as quickly as is physically possible.

**

Why the fuck did you sign up for this? 

You have been pinched on the ass a grand total of twelve times now, delivering flowers to the various inhabitants of the boarding school you’re stuck in. 

You only travel among the dorms. There is no fucking way you’re going among your _teachers_ dressed like this.

Except apparently, a few nerds want to send pink flowers to your _principle_ , of all people. And the English teacher, and the art teacher, and the Biology teacher, and the Chemistry teacher, and so on and so forth. 

You groan inwardly, having handed off the last of the flowers for students. You return to Kanaya to pick up the fourth and final bundle of flowers.

“Kanaya. Please, let me wear something different. I’m not handing flowers to Principle Hussie in this skirt.”

She shrugs and smiles coyly, ushering you out the door again. You make an exasperated noise at her, but she’s already shut the door. 

You take a deep breath and get ready to meet your teachers. 

**

“Kankri. Kankri, shut up. Please,” you mutter, having handed one of the various teachers, who also happened to be your hatchmate, a variety of roses in yellow (for friends or auspitices), red (for lovers or matesprits), pink (for family and moirails) and black (for hatemance). 

“I really don’t understand how you could honestly think it a good idea to stroll around with so much skin being revealed. I understand that it’s a weekend, but Karkat, I’m sorry to say, and beforehand apologize for any triggers resulting from my next remarks, you’re asking for a lot of, shall we say, trouble, dressed the way you are.”

You groan and turn around. “Enjoy your flowers, nookwhiff,” you growl, leaving his stupid classroom.

Next on your list, Cronus Ampora, the most perverted music teacher you’ve ever met. 

He stands up when you walk in, so you grab the three black roses and two red ones he’s got this year and fling them in his face.

He picks them up gingerly, setting them down on his table.

“Spendin' Valentines alone, chief?” he asks, looking down at you. For a second you hate your short stature and are severely tempted to kick that pedophile in the balls. He grins at you.

“Your brother is alone, though, right?” he asks, and suddenly his expression changes from creepily flirtatious to enamored.

“Yeah. And he’s not my brother, you fucking weirdo. We share blood color and sign and _that’s it_.”

“Sheesh, lil’ Vantas, calm down,” he says, waving his hands at you. You growl at him and storm out. 

You visit a few other teachers, getting weird looks from some, knowing and apologetic glances from others. 

Finally, you arrive at the door of your principle.

Yeah, you’re definitely getting expelled. Oh well, you enjoyed your short time here at Skaia. Being expelled won’t be so bad. You’ll say bye to all the fuckers you shared a dorm with on the Prospit side of the dorms, maybe shout a loud “fuck you” at all the Dersites, as they so lovingly refer to themselves. You’ll miss all the extreme tug-of-war contests that waged between the two dorms. You’ll miss waking up with windows splattered purple, or staying up late to splatter the unsuspecting Dersite freshman with gross, glow-in-the-dark, neon yellow paint.

Here ends your run at school.

You glare at the door and knock, carefully.

No reply. You open the door…

… and the room is empty. You heave a sigh of relief, chuck the flowers on the desk and leave. 

No problem. 

You practically run back to the dorm, a couple people cat-calling or whistling as you rush past.

Finally making it back to Kanaya’s room, you enter to find the room entirely covered in pink and red roses. Jade is sitting in the middle of all of them, red rose in her mouth, lounging sexily on a carpet in the middle of the room.

You drop your basket as your mouth drops open.

“Hello sexy,” Jade says around the rose, winking. You blush and slam the door shut behind you. 

Feferi enters the room from the bathroom and sees your expression. She giggles and brushes past you, hand walking over your thigh as she goes for the door. Jade makes a noise of protest.

Feferi turns around, placing her hands on your uncovered hips, dragging her hands up, claws grazing your grubscars and the sensitive gills beneath them. You moan slightly, arching back into her grip. She leans forward and nips at your neck, so you fall against her.

You will never, ever, ever tell anybody what exactly happened in that room that night.

Absolutely not.

Even if it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, between the trollish bulge up your nook and the very human nook on your bulge. 

All you will _ever_ say is that you vanished into Kanaya’s room one night and the next morning walked out covered in rose petals and smelling of pheromones.

All in all, though, your Valentines Day could’ve gone worse.

 

**Author's Note:**

> someone pls write me jadefefkat. there doesnt appear to be ANY of it.  
> gonna add a picture of karkat in his sexy outfit later. on valentines day, probably.  
> doodles: http://particularcriticular.tumblr.com/post/110993661195/hella-http-archiveofourown-org-works-3338366


End file.
